The family home is usually the biggest asset in a divorce, and it is also where you live. There is no single right answer, and the best one is the one that works for the people involved, in the money and in life. These are the main options, in plain language, with the questions to take to your attorney. Rudy does not give legal advice, and your attorney and your agreement or court order decide what happens.
Option 1: One spouse keeps the home
Often a spouse stays in the home, especially with children, and buys the other out for their share of the equity. - The buyout is commonly paid by refinancing in the keeping spouse's name, which also takes the other spouse off the mortgage. Without a refinance, the spouse who leaves generally stays responsible for the loan. - The keeping spouse needs to qualify for the new loan alone, on their own income and credit. A lender can tell you what applies. - See the numbers with the divorce home buyout calculator. - A transfer of the home between spouses in a divorce is generally excluded from property tax reassessment in California; see the BOE rule and the property tax guide on this site.
Option 2: Sell and divide the proceeds
Selling gives each person a clean start and cash. The net proceeds, after the loan payoff and selling costs, are divided as your agreement says. - Selling in a divorce has its own rules and timing: see selling a home during a divorce. - Each person should talk to a tax professional about the home-sale tax exclusion. The home sale tax exclusion estimator shows the idea.
Option 3: Keep it jointly for a while
Some couples agree to keep the home for a set time, for example until a child finishes school or the market improves, and then sell. This needs a written agreement about who pays what, who lives there, and when and how it will be sold.
Money questions to settle
- What is the home worth? Rudy can prepare a free value estimate.
- What is owed on the mortgage and any home equity loan?
- What are the costs of selling, and of keeping (mortgage, taxes, insurance, repairs)?
- Who can afford the new payment, and what income does a lender need to see?
- How are credits for down payments or separate funds handled?
A good next step
Bring your attorney the numbers from the calculators and the value estimate, and ask which option fits your agreement. Rudy is glad to coordinate with your attorney, lender and tax professional, in the way that suits everyone. Book a 15-minute call.
General information, not legal, tax or lending advice. Programs, rules and rates change, so confirm current details with the official source, your lender and your advisors.
More guides
- Selling a Home During a Divorce in California: Timing and What to Know — How the waiting period and the automatic orders affect a sale, and the steps for a smooth sale when both spouses agree.
- Questions to Bring to Your Attorney About the House — A printable list of questions about the family home to take to your divorce attorney, so you use your time well.
- The Best Time to Buy or Sell in San Diego, Month by Month — Charts and numbers show which months San Diego homes sell most, when prices peak and when buyers have the most room to negotiate.
- Printable Neighborhood Sheets by ZIP Code — A one-page, printable snapshot of any San Diego County ZIP code: typical values, rent, days to sell, income and the age of homes.